Hopes and Dreams

by Jayne Ozanne, Editor of ViaMedia.News

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So the waiting game is nearly over, and we shall soon know what the Bishops believe we should do as a Church with regards to the challenging topic of sexuality.

It has been a gruelling process, which has left many of us bruised, battered and hurt.  We chose to make ourselves vulnerable, we brought ourselves to the table and sat through discussions about whether we are going to heaven or hell.  We have had our private lives dissected, our faith challenged and our integrity questioned.  We have been the subject of unkind and prurient banter and ridicule, particularly in relation to what we can and can’t do in bed with our life-long partners.  All so utterly demeaning.

We have been told not to be so emotional, to not share the pain of our journeys or the harm that has been done in God’s name in certain churches using disgraceful spiritually abusive practices.  We have relived our pasts and reopened old wounds.

However, we have done so willingly as we believe this sacrificial path has been what the Church has asked us to do.  The powers that be have asked us to trust them, and so we have.  They have asked us to be open, and so we have been.  They have asked us to believe that they will hear our stories and reflect on our testimonies – even if they then did chose not to have an openly LGBT member as part of their Reflections Group.

Trust.

It’s hard to trust a group of mostly middle aged heterosexual men who have a history of causing pain, and adding to confusion – rather than confronting it.

But this time it’s going to be different we’re told.  This time.  Just trust us.

This time, they know that the stakes are too high for us to be given just more platitudes that add to the “fudge” that exists in the heart of the Church.  This time they know that they have to make some clear and concrete decisions, because otherwise they will undermine all the trust that has been placed in them, at their own request, by the LGBT community, by those desiring an inclusive Church and by society as a whole.

Because otherwise the trust we have put in them would be broken.  And as we all know – it would be impossible to rebuild.  Many would just walk away knowing that yet again they have been let down by an institution that is bound by fear and compromise.  An unholy mess that creates smoke and mirrors that fool no one.

So I, like thousands of others, wait patiently – in hope that our nightmare will soon end.  No need to tell them the world is watching, that God is watching.  They know.

Trust us.

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This entry was posted in Church of England, Human Sexuality, Jayne Ozanne. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Hopes and Dreams

  1. RevDave says:

    Dear Jayne, it will be heartbreaking if Bishops, having led you to believe they will deliver approval of same-sex relationships, don’t. But it will be heartbreaking for a lot of gay individuals who have chosen to follow Jesus and His Apostles teachings on sex and marriage if they do… not to mention breaking God’s heart by rejecting His/their teachings. http://www.livingout.org/

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    • RevRichard says:

      Dear Jayne,
      Sending you lots of love at this difficult time.
      Thank you for all you have given.
      What you and I hope for may not happen this year but it will eventually.
      I pray God’s richest blessing upon you and your partner.

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      • jayneozanne says:

        Many thanks Richard, let’s just start by praying for a wonderful partner! 🙂
        Also, still recovering from the years of spiritual abuse having lived under a Living Out abusive theology. One day the immense damage that this erroneous teaching causes will be seen and understood by all. Too many young people are coping with depression, self-hatred, self-harm and suicidal thoughts – or worse.

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    • Jane Newsham says:

      Dear Rev Dave
      You make a valid point. Whichever way we go forward, there will be some who will struggle with the decision. But the debate is more than about us – in fact, the Church is more than about us. Those of us who hope for full inclusion and also those of us who are ‘living out’ know what it’s like to be safe, saved, kept in God’s love, guidance and provision. But those who don’t know this, those who have yet to be convinced of God’s goodness, and happen to be LGBTI, see only judgement, suspicion and diminishment. Same-sex married people are given plenty of evidence to build a case to say that we in the Church treat some married people very differently to other married people. In this context, the Gospel flounders – we have no authority to speak about God’s limitless, unconditional love.

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