by Jayne Ozanne, Editor of ViaMedia.News, Director of the Ozanne Foundation and Member of General Synod
Silence is a killer.
Taking the “I don’t want to rock the boat, so I won’t say anything” approach to life only ever emboldens perpetrators and leaves victims undefended and open to abuse.
Which is why we need our leaders to have the moral courage and backbone to say what they think, no matter who they offend or disappoint, or how many friends they might lose in the process.
It’s what we’ve witnessed this week when governments have demanded Russian oligarchs “come off the fence” and say what they think about their friend, Putin’s, strategy regarding Ukraine. We’ve seen it with certain football managers, and we’ve even seen it at the Met Opera in New York, where Russian soprano Anna Netrbko was dropped because of her failure to speak out and distance herself from the Russian President.
You see, you cannot sit on the fence for ever – you will ultimately be called on it.
And so it is with our House of Bishops, most of whom appear to have taken a vow of silence over where they each stand on issues to do with LGBT+ matters. Issues affecting 1000s of LGBT+ people’s lives, their friends’ & families’ lives and millions of non-church goers in their diocese.
So why do they stay so precariously perched?
Well their reasons seem so laudable: “they don’t want to split the church” (please note, it’s already split!), they want “to be a bishop for all those in their diocese” (really? have they bothered to ask whether their LGBT+ members think they are a bishop who understands what they are going through?) or they “don’t want to add to the problems in the Anglican Communion” (as if their decision would really have that much impact!).
Perhaps the truthful reason is that they don’t want the aggro of having to deal with some of the really vocal, nasty and vociferous homophobic and transphobic members in their midst. Bottom line, they don’t want to appear to be “unsound” to certain clergy, or indeed even their peers. Perhaps they are scared of the consequences? Or maybe they erroneously think that somehow by staying silent everyone will in fact think they are “everyone’s bishop”.
I hate to break it to them, but do they really think we are that stupid?
The only people who get hurt by their silence are young LGBT+ people (as well as those who are not so old) growing up in conservative churches where they are constantly told that who they are is unacceptable and that they must therefore deny themselves, “take up their cross” (which their heterosexual leaders never will) and change. No, not for them the joy of love and intimacy – they must never ever experience the gift of giving love and being loved by another human being.
Of course, most bishops take their stance from their homes where they celebrate wedding anniversaries, where their children are asking them to Christmas dinners and where their happy family memories are dsiplayed in photo frames around their homes and on their desks.
Bishops, we need you to come out!
We need you to have the moral courage to say what you really think, to come off the fence (which is a pretty uncomfortable place to sit anyway) and stand firmly on one side or the other. Then we can start to have some respect for you – even if we disagree with you, for we will know you have the courage of your convictions to state what you truly believe and why.
Of course, there are other bishops who really do need to heed the call to “come out – wherever they are”.
The scandal here is not that we have gay bishops in the House of Bishops, but that we have gay bishops who do not feel safe enough to come out within the House of Bishops.
Ironically, the percentage of bishops who feel “safe enough” to be out is far lower it seems than the percentage of LGBT+ Christians (33%) who say they feel “safe enough to be out” to everyone in their local church. Goodness, if a bishop doesn’t feel safe to be out – how on earth does he/she expect a young LGBT+ teenager to feel safe?! It beggars belief!
What’s more, it undermines their authority. Most in the LGBT+ community know who these LGBT+ bishops are. More accurately, most know who their partners are! And yet we’re all sworn to secrecy.
This must change. Is there no shame amongst those who expect the rest of us to bear the brunt of the conservatives ire, who hide behind us being open and transparent about our lived experience?
It makes me so angry, for as always, again, it is the young and the undefended – those least able or equipped to bear the weight of this – who are left to plead their own cause.
I have just conducted some research in Hungary and the Caribbean, the results of which will be made public shortly. The findings are horrific. They show the impact of living in a culture where the only acceptable way of being is to be heteronormative and cis-gendered. The level of attempted suicide and self harm amongst the LGBT community is astronomical.
But it is the fact that young LGBT+ people are totally undefended – that those closest to them, who they trust, their parents, teachers, religious leaders and doctors are the ones who are the most likely to tell them they must change and become straight. It’s heart-breaking.
That’s why we need these cultures to change.
And it must start with our bishops.
Any thoughts?